Journey
by garfieldodie
Summary: Lister and Rimmer reminice and struggle to say goodbye before he leaves to take up the mantle of Ace. Meanwhile, Rimmer tries to slot back into his old life.


**Author's Note: **_Another story written on a whim. My own version of the hypothetical scene where the nano-Rimmer leaves to become Ace, allowing the old Rimmer to slip back into his old life. Try to find out why this story is called 'Journey', eh? _

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><p>The wig itched, for a start. That was one reason not to go through with this.<p>

The other was that he was scared as hell. Perfectly understandable, he felt, under the circumstances. With all the monsters and baddies out there in the multiverse, it was hard not to break out the rubber brown safety pants.

But he'd been stuck with this job, and his other self was hanging it in, so it was up to him, and as always, Arnold J Rimmer never shirked off responsibility. At least, that's what he told himself he did.

He looked around _Red Dwarf_'s landing bay with a sense of sadness. He'd never see this huge gigantic room ever again. Oh, he might see some other version of it in another reality, but not this particular one. It depressed him that he'd never see this grungy, lonely room ever again.

God, he might as well write made-for-TV movies for the Hallmark channel.

He cast a glance at his ship. _His _ship, the _Wildfire_. He'd dreamed of his own ship. He even had a computer to boss around. It would be his ship to command. The rules were his. He'd be his own man. Arnold J Rimmer, savior of the universe and then some. Take that, Father!

He rolled his eyes. Yeah, provided he didn't cock it up first.

But apparently the computer had deemed him good enough for the job. She had the ability to look up the profiles of every Rimmer in every dimension. She'd seen his time in the Tank as proof that he was willing to take risks. He had a sense of fun, as seen from all the pranks he and Lister had played on fellow prisoners and wardens. He had a sense of duty, as seen from his escapade in the mirror universe.

Turns out, that one had been a noble act. Who would've thought? He could've just ditched the others and stayed in the mirror universe and be captain. Instead, he'd gotten the antidote and headed back to the decaying _Dwarf _to help the others. It had simply never occurred to him to stay. Weird.

He looked down at the tinfoil flight suit. His first order of business was to get his alter ego a new outfit. Surely it was tiresome for a hero to be dressed in the same flight suit over and over again. Surely he could spice things up. Maybe something camouflaged with a gun belt would do nicely…

He was snapped out of his thoughts by the sounds of footsteps approaching him from the door a good fifty yards away from him across the 'bay. He glanced in that direction and saw Lister approaching him, slowly but surely. The little git was alternating between looking at him and then at his widely stepping feet. Rimmer briefly pondered if he was drunk, but he wasn't. He was just dragging his feet like a child who didn't want to stay with his grandmother.

After about a minute of silence, Lister finally made it all the way, struggling to make eye contact with his old cellmate. "So…," he said at last, dripping with awkwardness.

"Yeah…," Rimmer replied, matching his uncertain tone.

Lister threw him a sideways glance, looking curious. "…It hasn't been _that _bad, has it?" he asked, a hint of hope hidden behind his question.

Rimmer shrugged slightly. "…No. No, I don't think it has…"

"I mean, it could've been worse."

"Oh, yes, definitely. Definitely could've been worse…"

They stood there, staring into space, trying to fight off the clumsiness of this conversation.

And then, miraculously, it all melted away when they locked eyes with each other. They both couldn't fight off the fond grins as they both felt the onslaught of memories from the past eight years flood through their minds. They both chuckled like old friends and hugged, patting each other on the back to make it manlier.

They pulled apart, still laughing, and they headed towards _Wildfire _side-by-side.

"So, you okay?" Lister asked.

"Yeah, I think so… It's for the best, really," Rimmer replied.

"Eh?"

"Well, I never really belonged here. I was just a stand-in until he got back…"

Lister moaned. They'd talked about this before. "Oh, stop that. You were never a replacement."

Rimmer rolled his eyes. Whether it was true or not was something he didn't dare to genuinely find out.

They reached _Wildfire_ moments later, and he ran a bare hand across the ship's surface in wonder. This was it.

"…We did some crazy shit, though, didn't we?" he said quietly.

Lister grinned knowingly and turned to lean against the hull, looking out across the landing bay at the one remaining _Starbug _that had been damaged at the time of the chameleonic virus, so it had been left behind when the crew abandoned ship. "Yeah, we did, didn't we?"

Rimmer followed in suit. "The time we put the laxative in Ackerman's tea," he murmured.

"The time we put the truth serum in his aspirin inhaler…"

"The time we put the stiffening solution in their halftime juice…"

"Ooh, _Pete_…"

Rimmer winced at the memory. "Not one of our best moments."

"No…"

They thought in silence for a few more seconds.

Then Lister grinned at another memory. "Remember that time we almost led the prisoners to revolt on Karaoke Night by singing that crap Journey song?"

Rimmer moaned through his grin as he remembered as well. "Oh, god, I can't believe I was sober when I did that."

"…_caught the midnight train goin' an-y-where_…"

"Don't. For god's sake, don't."

Lister giggled. So far, so good. No one was crying.

He remembered when the other Rimmer had left to do this. He felt he had rushed things a little back then. They'd never had time to properly talk like this. They'd been trying to hide it from Cat and Kryten, so they'd felt the need to do a bit more quickly.

But then again, he and the hologram Rimmer hadn't really bonded as well as he did with the nano Rimmer. The hologram Rimmer had a few extra chips on his shoulder, due to the whole being dead thing. He'd been too wrapped up in his own drama to try and reach out. He'd simply gone on, barking orders and clinging to regulation like a security blanket. They hadn't really started to bond at all until after the disastrous encounter with their future selves, where he'd saved them all from certain death. In that one instant, no matter how short-lived the aftereffects, Rimmer had shown that, deep down, he cared about them.

And then he'd left about three months later.

And then eighteen months later he'd gotten stuck with _this _Rimmer before him.

Lister couldn't help but marvel at where they stood now. This nanobotically resurrected living Rimmer had become so much more different than his predecessor. He had become so much more relaxed. He still clung to rules and regulations, but not quite as tightly as before. While in the Tank, he'd seen the flaws in hierarchy, all the quirks in the system. That lack of faith in the rulebook helped him and Lister bond all the more. Even after the crew had left and they'd been free from prison, they'd still been on better terms with each other than ever before, despite their continued bickering.

And that brought up another memory that he knew he'd have to bring up.

"Thanks for helping me after Krissie," he said quietly.

Rimmer looked at him, a bit startled by that. She'd died about a year and a half ago. It had hit them all rather hard, but it had obviously hurt Lister the hardest. At the time, his best answer to relieving grief was to just leave him alone for a while. Not the most orthodox way, he admitted, but it seemed to have gotten the job done.

"…Sure," he said at last.

It was all he needed to say. Somehow, between the two of them, one word could speak volumes.

Rimmer cleared his throat. "How is he?"

Lister shrugged. "I dunno… He didn't say anything to you? Really?"

"All he said was he was tired of playing the part… I think he's got some other stuff going on. And if I know him like I know me, you're probably going to have to boil it out of him."

"Well, it's a thought…"

Just then, a wristwatch Rimmer was wearing beeped. He held it up to his face. "Yes, Computer?" he asked in those suave, smooth, radio DJ tones.

"Whenever you're ready, Ace, we need to get going," an equally smooth yet sexy female voice told him.

"Right, be a minute, luv. Just saying a few last goodbyes to…_Skipper_," he said, casting an awkward glance at Lister as he uttered the nickname.

Lister smirked as his old cellmate let his arm drop loosely at this side.

"I'm never going to get used to that," Rimmer muttered in his own voice.

"…Guess you'd better get going," Lister murmured.

"Yeah… I probably should." Rimmer threw one last glance around the huge room fondly before locking eyes with his crewmate once again. "I'll – er – see you around…"

"Yeah…"

And they hugged.

Probably longer than was necessary, but they didn't care. This was harder than they thought it would be.

They finally pulled apart a minute later.

"See ya, Davey Boy," he said in his own voice.

"Yeah, good luck, man."

With a flip of the wig, Rimmer climbed up the ladder into the _Wildfire_'s cockpit. He thudded himself down into the one-man cockpit and looked at the controls nervously.

"Don't worry, Ace," the sexy voice of the computer said from the dashboard. "You're all nervous at first."

Rimmer was surprised by his own response. "Oh, Computer, with you to guide me? What have I got to be nervous about?" he said in those suave tones again.

"Charmer…"

Rimmer grinned. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad if he had this to come home to every night.

He cast a glance out the lowering cockpit window to get one last look at his…_friend_, he supposed. Lister had retreated several steps to give him some room, but his eyes were still on him. He couldn't help but feel his heart melt a little bit when Lister gave him the Full Rimmer Salute. He saluted back as he slipped the helmet on and spoke into the speaker, his new suave voice echoing across the cargo bay.

"_Skipper_, _stroke me a leopard, I'll be back for a necklace_… _I think_…"

Lister grinned and shook his head tiredly as he waved him off. "You'll get it one day," he muttered to himself.

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><p>Rimmer sat in the bunkroom, leaning against the large blinking table in the middle of the room. He looked around with a degree of disdain. He liked the large glass window, giving him an excellent view of deep space, but the whole thing felt a touch too business to feel at all homey.<p>

His eyes flitted across the various artifacts that were strewn across the table. His other self had kept their various textbooks in a rather hazardous fashion, with various notes scattered across the table's surface. Clearly Lister's influence on him had made him a tad disorganized. He brushed away some of the old discarded empty lager cans to get a look at some of them. Thankfully, his other self had been keeping up in his studies, and the notes themselves were well documented.

Muttering to himself, he proceeded to file them in the correct order. He'd review them himself later on when he was feeling more energetic. He'd have to familiarize himself with the ship's new layout since it had been rebuilt by nanobots, apparently.

The sound of the doors sliding open distracted him momentarily as he was putting things into an appropriately labeled binder. Lister came in, finishing off another can of lager from the machine he'd gotten it from about fifteen yards behind him. He shook his head in disgust. Some things never change.

Lister grinned at the sight. Once he'd switched out of the old flight suit, Rimmer had decided to take on an updated version of his old navigation uniform, which had used to be red or green, but in his hard-light form, it was now blue. He casually crossed to the empty chair and pulled it out, sitting down in it heavily. "He's just gone, you know," he said to break the silence.

Rimmer, who'd been enjoying the silence, frowned slightly. "I'm sorry," he said tersely.

Now it was Lister's turn to frown. "What for?"

"That he's gone. I know you two became close."

Lister scoffed. "We weren't! We just… I dunno, we just bonded over a few things. Nothing you aren't capable yourself, you know."

Rimmer cocked a skeptical eyebrow before returning to his organizing. "The only thing I'd ever want to bond with you, Lister, is an atomic bomb, with use of a welding torch, obviously."

Lister grinned slightly. "Yeah, I missed you too."


End file.
